BEST THINGS TO DO WITH CAREER CRIMINALS:

1) Murderers: Let them choose one of two "early retirement plans" - lethal injection or the electric chair.

2) Rapists: Make them wear pink tutus for the duration of their next prison term.

3) Robbers: Make them pay for room and board.

4) Drug dealers: Let them perform their own body cavity searches while everyone watches.

5) Drunken drivers: Decorate their cells with pictures of their victims.

6) Terrorists: Implant a homing device behind their left ear - and an explosive behind the right.

7) Arsonists: Use them for scientific experiments and medical research.

8) Child molesters: Stop them from reproducing by having them spayed or neutered by a veterinarian.

9) Cop killers: Use them as live organ donors.